Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
