No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
