um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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