obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
