well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
