I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am puke
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
