Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
