I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
