He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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