Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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