You can't special order awesome
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Vodka?
Forever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
