TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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