Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
