why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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