Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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