I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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