ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
did you just send me my own nude
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
