Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
