i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
