Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
