I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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