if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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