All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
