So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
