Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
