I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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