Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
