I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
