You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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