i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
