Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
