this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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