So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
love makes seman taste better
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
