During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
