Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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