Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
