Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
