I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
