As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
