Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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