if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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