i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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