the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
