we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
