that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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