i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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