Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
