It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
