listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
