does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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