Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
