I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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